Things I Want My Daughter to Know

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Sometimes Love is Hard March 25, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — rlginny @ 1:57 am

Baby Girl,

I want you to know that sometimes, love is hard.

You will love a lot of people in your life, Baby Girl, and each one in a different way.

Sometimes, love can be the easiest, most logical thing in the world, as easy as breathing. Loving some people is something you do without thinking. There will be people in this world you love before you ever actually meet them (like children, nieces and nephews). There will be people in this world you love for years after you last saw or spoke to them. It just happens. You can’t stop it, you can’t control it. You just love them and it’s just a part of who you are.

But that same uncontrollable love can hurt. There will come a time you will love someone you will not, and cannot, ever see again because they are gone. And that will hurt. It is hard to lose someone you love, no matter how or when it happens.

There will come a time that loving someone means stepping back and letting them live their life, including making their own mistakes and, at times, getting hurt, because that’s what’s best for them. And watching someone you love hurting is not easy or fun at all.

There may come a time when you are in love with someone who is in love with someone else. Let me tell you, Baby Girl, that sucks. There is no other word for it. It sucks, it’s hard and it hurts. And most of the time, there is absolutely nothing you can do about it because, once you love someone, it’s very very hard to just stop. You can’t exactly turn off your heart.

This is not to tell you not to love. Love with everything you have because the rewards can be amazing. But just know that you will have a few heartbreaks along the way. It will hurt. It will suck. It will be hard.

But you will make it through. We always do. It’s part of growing up and part of being alive.

I love you,

Mommy

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You Deserve As Much As Those You Love March 22, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — rlginny @ 2:09 am

Dear Baby Girl,

I want you to know you deserve as much as those you love.

You will, as most people in the world do, want the best for those you love. You will want them to have the best of everything and to be happy and loved and treated well.

When living your life and going through situations, if you find yourself in a situation or circumstance that makes you uncomfortable, think to yourself: “Would I want my friend (or aunt or brother or Mommy or daughter or whatever) to go through this / feel this way / be treated this way?”

If the answer is no, don’t put up with it yourself.

The biggest instance of this you will likely encounter is the way other people in the world treat you. If you come across a person who treats you badly – where, were the situation different and it was a friend in your shoes, you would tell them to run, run away as fast as they could and never look back – give yourself the same advice, and, for once, take it, listen to it and run with it.

You are worthy of being treated well. You deserve to be treated well. You deserve to be loved.

You do not need to tolerate people putting you down, making you feel bad, belittling you, screaming at you, making you cry, or in any way making you feel like you aren’t the incredible, wonderful girl (woman) you are and will be.

Do not, I repeat, do not, allow yourself to remain in any situation you would not let your (hypothetical) daughter or your best friend remain in.

Be your own best friend when you need to.

And if necessary to extract yourself, blame me. Make me the bad guy.

I’m a Mommy. Sometimes, that’s part of my job description.

I love you,

Mommy.