Things I Want My Daughter to Know

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You Will Never, and Should Never, Stop Learning January 6, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — rlginny @ 4:46 am

Dear Baby Girl,

I want you to know that you will not, and should not, ever stop learning from those people around you. They are the best teachers you will ever have.

This is going to sound odd to you, and some of this I’ve told you already, but the best lessons you will learn are not in a classroom. It is the lessons those people around you teach you.

You will learn that some family we don’t get to choose. We have them and love them no matter what and you do the best with what you have. You will learn that some family we get to hand pick — the best of the best, the cream of the crop.

Those are your teachers.

You will learn that some friends we have forever, but some we lose along the way and sometimes, we don’t know which one they’ll be.

Those are your teachers.

So make the best of every moment you have with every one you have it with: smile when you want to, laugh when you can, cry when you need to because there is no shame in breaking. These friends are just as important as family: They keep you sane when things are falling apart and laughing when all you want to do is cry.

Those are your teachers.

Over time you will learn about the things that really matter, the things worth fighting for and the things worth getting upset over. You will learn that holding a grudge is only going to hurt you and that you should never leave angry with someone because you don’t know when you’ll see them again. You will learn to tell people you love them whether you want to or not, because you do love them and you always will, even if they have upset you for a moment.

You will learn to leave people with hugs because who knows when you might seem them again.

These lessons will not be taught in a classroom.

Some friendships, while fleeting, can teach you more than you ever thought one person could. You will learn to love someone before you meet them and you will learn to love someone you haven’t seen in years. You will learn that every relationship is different and that no relationship is easy. You will learn, sometimes the hard way, that loving someone can be the easiest (or hardest) thing in the world and sometimes the best thing is to love someone from agar, even if it goes against everything your mind, soul and heart tell you to do.

You will not learn these lessons in any classroom.

You will learn that your family will always love you, even when you hit rock bottom and there’s no one there to help you up. You will learn that help doesn’t mean someone else doing it for you and love doesn’t mean fixing your mistakes. You will learn that loving someone means supporting them in their decisions, not making their decisions for them. You will learn just how low you can get and you will learn just how much people mean to you when you think there is nothing and no one left. Love can be an incredible medicine and somethings there is nothing better than a hug.

No classroom will teach you these things. There is no “Social Relationships 101”.

Sometimes people change and you may grow apart. These people are teachers too. You will learn that just because you’ve grown apart doesn’t mean you can’t remember them and miss them, even if you never see them again.

At some point, you will learn that happiness really can be as simple as a hug or an “I love you, Mommy” and that, sometimes, that’s all you need.

Children can make it all worth it, through the heartache and everything, just with a smile.

No classroom will teach you this.

You will learn that it’s okay to miss people who are gone and it’s okay to be upset they are no longer here, as long as you know that it’s not going to change anything. It’s okay to be sad and it’s okay to be angry, but nothing can change the part and no amount of tears or tantrums is going to return someone long gone to you.

That is one of the hardest lessons you will learn.

There will come a time when you will have to weigh everything you know against everything you feel. and there will come a time when what you feel and what you know in your heart is right will go against everything logic dictates and everything you have ever been told. Going with your heart is not always foolish and going with your head is not always smart. You have to do what’s best for you in any situation, what’s best for you in your life. you should not put other peoples’ problems on your own shoulders and you should never make other peoples’ happiness your responsibility. It is not anyone elses responsibility to make you happy. Happiness is found inside, not out, and no one can do it for you.

You will not learn this in any classroom.

Never underestimate the power of girls. We are stronger than people think we are; we are stronger than even we think we are. We are stronger in our numbers and we will always support each other. Every female knows how these things work. We have to hold each other together; we have to be each others’ supports. Without one another, we are nothing. Without one another, we fall. We have to keep each other whole and we have to keep each other going.

When you think you just can’t do it anymore, go to your girls. They will know how to fix things.

They will be your teachers.

Don’t forget to laugh. Don’t forget to have fun. there will come a time when you think things are bad and there’s nothing good left, but you’ll be wrong. There is always something in the world to laugh at. Let the little things make you laugh and you will always have something to smile about.

You will not learn this in any classroom.

There will come a time when you will feel alone. And that is when you will learn who your real friends are and who your real family is. Your family will love you and will get you through. Your family will take care of you and pull you out of your hole any way they can. but you hve to help. You have to realize that you have hit rock bottom because of your decisions and you have to accept that you are the only one who can get out of it completely. You will learn and accept defeat and learn that failure is only failure when you don’t get back up.

Always get back up.

You won’t learn this in any classroom.

And you won’t learn this by my telling you. It is going to take your living it, experiencing it, going through it for it to sink in. But know that, if you just look, there are teachers and lessons everywhere. Learn everything you can from everyone you meet and learn to love with everything you have.

Love,

Mommy

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